It's all connected - Part 2

For the past two years I’ve been attending a monthly class on energy fundamentals. The class has helped me in so many ways to be a better person and a better energy-work practitioner. As an extension of that class, in March I become a member of the “Men’s Group” which is comprised of men who have been through the first two years of the energy class. This is a working support group which provides us with a safe space to talk about the changes that the energy class is making in our lives. The group is currently comprised of 13 men, 4 of which are gay and the other 9 are straight.

In July thanks to the beautiful weather we were having, we had decided to meet in Volunteer Park and have a small pot-luck cookout. For those that aren’t familiar with it, Volunteer Park is what the gays in Seattle think of as the “gay park”. It’s in the Capitol Hill (gay neighborhood) area and is where many “Gay Pride” events are held. On the day of the meeting, I went shopping for my pot-luck food as was actually quite excited about the meeting because it was sunny, I was in a good mood, I enjoy the group and picnicking (which I love) was involved.

I was the first to arrive so as I waited for the others I sat basking in the afternoon sun and enjoying the fresh air. As more and more men arrived I noticed that my joyous mood had shifted to something more subdued. I even felt myself beginning to withdraw from socializing with the other men but chose to ignore it and press on into the gathering. Once we began there was one other gay guy present and the other 7 men were straight guys.

CHECKING IN

As with any support group, we begin with a “check in” where we discuss whatever is going on in our lives so that we can get support from the group as needed. I was about half-way around the circle from where we started with the check-ins so I had about 6 guys ahead of me. I remember the first person had barely gotten into his check-in and all I could think about was “when will this end so I can get out of here?”

I began thinking about what might be going on that was making me not want to be a part of something that earlier I was excited about. I concluded that the guys were going to take too long to check-in (they do it every month) and because of the cookout that we wouldn’t have time to get to the discussion that we usually have or to do any energy exercises, which is my favorite part of the gathering, and that THAT was what was annoying me. My intransigence was stacking the deck against me.

As I listened to the guys sharing their stories, I began thinking about what was going on for me that I would share. The main drama which had arisen in my life was around the Facebook posting that my childhood friend had made which set me off. By the time it got to me to check-in, almost an hour had passed due to the lengthy check-ins and I was more than annoyed and my response was to withdraw and share the minimum I could so that things would move along. Literally my check-in was “Not much is happening really. I’m good.” After all, why would all these straight guys care about my “big gay drama”?

NOT THE DISH I ORDERED

After the check-ins ended, we began the cookout. While things were being grilled and prepped, I sat there stewing in my pot of anger and completely withdrawn yet trying to put on a happy face to hide it all. One of the guys came over to check on me. “Is everything okay? You seem so withdrawn and quiet.” I gave him the response that most of us give when we don’t want to own what is going on inside or share it, “I’m FINE.” (Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional)  Several other guys tried to make conversation with me but I wasn’t in the mood to engage them either so my response to them was equally short.

As soon as everyone had their food off the grill (which I had brought so I had to stick around), I made a hasty retreat and actually left without saying goodbye to most of the guys. Everything in me was saying “RUN” and so I did. I spent the entire drive home trying to figure out what had really set me off and trying to decide if I really wanted to be a part of the group any longer.

TRACK IT DOWN

When I got home where it was quiet, I was able to sit down, relax and try to track my experience back to the point where I shifted from excited to withdrawn. I remembered that I was good until the first two guys arrived. They arrived together and one of them was what I think of as the Alpha Male of the group. He’s not in charge of the group but because his work and life are about him being in charge of lots of people (big family and small business owner) he tends to want to run the show anyway. He is also the group member which I feel most nervous around.

When they approached, I remember thinking “you don’t know these guys very well so don’t be overly affectionate so just smile, shake hands and say hello” and so I did while remaining seated. As other guys arrived since they were standing, they would greet and hug each other while I sat and took it in, withdrawing further and further and feeling more and more like an outsider. I had found my “breaking point”. The question was why did guys showing up and greeting each other set me off?

The answer was of course right there in my response to them and their arrival. It has been my historical observation that straight men are uncomfortable with hugs and emotional greetings from other men but especially from gay men. Therefore, over the years my “default setting” has become “do not greet straight men very affectionately and keep an emotional distance”. It’s been that way for so long now that I don’t even really think about it, it just happens. I feel safer because I believe they feel more comfortable around me.

So there I sat watching the group unite and bond one by one, with me consciously choosing to stay on the outside where I thought it was safe and yet resenting feeling left out. My default setting was the source of my isolation and it was so instinctual and automatic that I didn’t even notice it. It becomes very challenging for a support group to support you when you won’t engage with it and allow it to support you. The energy held by group gathered for a specific purpose is more powerful than the amount of energy which can be held by the individual members.  It is known as “emergence”  and allows each group member to benefit from this higher vibration of energy.

PERSONAL DEFAULT SETTINGS

Of course I’ve only come to realize most of this as I’ve been creating this blog entry and thus one of the reasons for my delay in getting it created. Major resistance has shown up at every turn and mostly all self-induced. I spent time in the days after the gathering trying to trace things back to the point where I felt things went awry so that I could begin to understand what happened. I knew that I did not feel safe in the group and shared this with them in an email after the gathering but I also made it clear that it was an unconscious fear because consciously I knew that these men meant me no harm.

The part of me that didn’t feel safe was my inner little gay boy who had been taunted and teased all through my childhood by the bullies that I went to school with. I have processed all of that consciously and learned that their actions had everything to do with them and nothing to do with me. I have forgiven them for their cruelty and myself for taking on their hatred and hating myself and them because of it. I have done all the things I needed to do to move on with my life but still my default setting was to keep a distance physically and emotionally with a group of straight men.

That default setting has now become problematic. I don’t need that emotional distance any longer because now I have the skills to manage the emotional landscape within me. By using “The Basics” I can now create and hold space for myself, determine what is mine and what is not mine, define my boundaries and be fully present to life as it occurs moment by moment. The task then becomes to find these old wounded places within me and heal them. Being present and aware will help me notice them. Bringing my consciousness to the issues with an intention to change them will enable me to transform the issues.

JOURNALING TO THE RESCUE

I’m a big fan to advising others to journal when something is going on for them. It seems in this case that was good advice for me as well. It really is amazing how much is revealed just by opening up and listening to all the messages that surface and seeing your thoughts written out where you have to look at them. Now they aren’t just idle thoughts which pass through your head but something that you have to look at and say “Is that really true for me?”  “Do I want it to be?”  The answer to those questions will open a path to healing.

INTERCONNECTIVITY

One of the other points that I’d like to emphasize by sharing this entry and the preceding one is the importance of seeing connections between events. With all the things that happen in our busy lives, it seems challenging to think that anyone would know which events to connect and how many of them. The main indicator is always “emotional charge”. If there is something within us that is ready to heal, that energetic will help us attract experiences which will trigger an emotional response. The emotional response is the key thing to notice. The wounded parts of us hold the emotional charge of the original wound that was not expressed or resolved at the time of the triggering event. That charge is released as we heal and we are therefore no longer triggered by events related to it.

Since connections between events will occur over time as opposed to single events which we can deal with at the time, these larger issues can be harder to spot. Typically the first event will remain unresolved for various reasons and already have our attention drawn to it when the related event(s) occur. On the surface these events may or may not seem connected and this is where introspection comes in and a bit of intuition. Do the events have a similar theme or is the same core issue being triggered by two dissimilar events? Is there a pattern that seems to be repeating across events? If you find yourself saying “why does this keep happening to me?” you can believe that there is a wound in there somewhere trying to heal.

It takes deep introspection to know if the events are related and there is no set formula for how that is done. The best way to know is to trust your intuition. If you feel or think there might be a connection between events, trust that and spend some time journaling or talking with a friend (both help to keep your awareness on the issue) about it and in all likelihood you’ll find that connection.

Once you find the issue that connects seemingly unrelated events, chances are that you’ll see how this issue is playing out in other aspects of your life. If the issue is pretty widespread from that perspective, odds are that you have a default setting that needs attention as well. As the name implies, a default setting is a habitual action which we typically do without even thinking about it or even thinking that it’s an option to not do it. It’s so instinctive that the action goes totally unnoticed. In my case I was defaulting to emotional distance with straight men because of my fear of how they would respond to it. I wasn’t allowing room for them to have control of their emotions or for them to have the confidence to be comfortable being around gay guys. My wounded inner child was passive-aggressively trying to keep me safe. In truth he was keeping me from feeling the support and friendship of other men who have done their own inner work and wanted to be my friend.

BEING QUIET WOULD BE EASIER...BUT NOT BETTER

This has been a difficult entry for me because it is so personal. I’ve struggled to even continue to try and write it and thus the delay in getting it posted. If I hadn’t mentioned it in the last entry, I’m certain I would have abandoned it some time ago. I’m really glad I didn’t though because the act of getting it written has revealed so many things to me in addition to the things I’ve shared in the post.

I invite you to notice what your default settings are and ask yourself if it is set to the way that works for you now as opposed to a time early in your life when you probably set it unconsciously. If it isn’t, you can change that default by holding your awareness on it when it gets triggered and consciously choosing to respond in the new way that does work for you. It will take several times of repeating that change for it to take effect but it will happen. It will only happen however if you are conscious about it. It is “conscious evolution” at work. My hope is that through this blog I will give you the tools and awareness to help effect that type of change through conscious competency.

Are you willing to raise your awareness to the level where you can observe the interconnectedness of life and your experiences within it to find the places in you that need healing?

I'm still here!!!

Greetings dear readers. I know it has been a while since I posted any new entries and I apologize for that. The nature of what I’m working on now (the second part of the “It’s all connected” posting) is so personal that I’ve run into a lot of resistance internally to getting it written. Things are still being revealed to me about my part in the experience and what all I can learn from it. I’m working on it for sure but wanted to drop you a note to say “don’t give up on me…I’m still here”.  I’ll have it soon…thanks for your patience and understanding.

If you haven’t already “Liked” my Facebook page which is linked to this blog, please do that and you’ll know exactly when I put a new entry up…plus you’ll get nice little quick thoughts through occasional Facebook posts from me. Just click on the Facebook box on the right side of this column and you’ll be directed to the Facebook page, then click “Like”.  Easy breezy.

Thank you again for reading my blog. I’m honored by that and grateful to you.

Peace is always the way,

Michael

It's all connected - Part 1

As most everyone was aware June was “LGBT Pride month”. It was a time for gay people to feel acknowledged and accepted by our nation which is built on diversity. President Obama had the wisdom and respect enough to proclaim it as such after President Bush stopped that designation during his time in office. Pride month is a time when the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) community can celebrate our successes and raise awareness of our struggle for acceptance and equal rights. It’s a time that we can focus on being proud of who we are and our ability to love.

I make no secret about the fact that I am a gay man. I live my life in a way that pleases me with honesty and integrity. I am out to everyone that I know including my loving birth family and my beloved partner’s family. I am proud of the fact that he and I have been together for 10 and ½ years in a loving, committed relationship. I am honored to be able to work with other men to help them love and respect themselves and their sexual expression whether they are gay, bi or straight. By fully accepting ourselves just as we are and sharing that we can offer others the choice to love and accept us and not a false personality that we have created in an attempt to be who we think they can accept.

SWEET HOME ALABAMA

As a child and small boy, I grew up during a time (the 60’s) when gayness was considered a psychological defect which needed to be treated and cured. I was born and raised in a small town in Alabama which was full of people with good hearts but misguided belief systems that said if you were not heterosexual and white you were not welcome. In fact if you were not straight AND white you ran a very real risk of being beaten or even killed. In an area of Alabama with a strong Klan presence, homophobia and racial discrimination were not only rampant but openly embraced.

I was a very soft natured and physically small boy who was quiet, effeminate and very introverted. The local religious environment taught me to view myself as a sinner because of my homosexual nature. The community taught me to hide who I was to avoid physical harm or verbal assaults. I grew up living every day in fear for my safety and well being because I could not hide who I was inside. I had very few friends outside my immediate family because I was so obviously different. Kids at school pretty much avoided being friends with me because they knew it could bring negative attention to them simply by our association.

Needless to say I really valued very highly the friends that I did make because they gave me a feeling of safety, love and acceptance and a sense of community. At that age, fitting in and being accepted was essential for good emotional health. Having a group of friends at school that I could feel safe around allowed me to relax and let down my guard a bit and experience a sense of belonging. I knew that no matter how cruel the verbal and physical assaults were from the other kids, I had a safe refuge somewhere with my friends.

RECONNECTING

Since I left that place back in 1981 I’ve made my peace with who I am, the painful experiences I had there and even reconnected with a few of my childhood friends thanks to Facebook. One of those people was a boy that I was very close to as a child. We were born 10 days apart and I always felt a close kinship to him until after graduation when I left town. We’ve since reconnected on Facebook and it’s been nice getting to know him again but as an adult. It seems that we both have developed a rather sharp sense of humor that can cut and entertain. We both can go so hard for a joke sometimes that other people can easily and unintentionally get hurt along the way.

This became very clear recently when I was the one who was hurt by his humor. He posted the image that you see here on his Facebook wall. He was actually posting it to another of his male friends but I saw it on his wall and was immediately triggered by it and let him know. His response was that I was being “too sensitive” and reading something into it that he didn’t mean. He said he considered himself an equal opportunity offender with his humor.

The more I thought about this, the angrier I got and the more hurt I felt. I considered the possibility that I was over-reacting and even posted the image on my Facebook wall asking my other gay friends if it offended them. Most who responded began reading into it and even defending it saying that gay’s “have a more refined taste and are classier” which is also in line with Mac’s marketing practices. I get where they were going with that but to me that was definitely reading more into it than was present and even showed how corporate marketing can affect us.

EMBEDDED HOMOPHOBIA

Finally I decided to sit and analyze why this bothered me so much rather than just saying that it hurt me because it was truly NOT directed at me personally. It was me that had the problem after all. I realized that it was because of the divisive nature of the message. To me this image says “the sole criteria that I will use to determine which group you are in is your sexual orientation. The thing that divides us will be your sexual identity.”  On the surface maybe there is some humor which can be had based upon our personal beliefs around gayness, Mac’s and PC’s but there is embedded homophobia within it. As someone who is trying to bring forth a message of Oneness, self-acceptance, peace, harmony, love and awareness, this flies directly in the face of that message. As a gay person, it stings. Coming from someone who I thought had my back, it hurts.

On many levels I was deeply hurt by this insensitivity and I let him know that I was both upset and offended by it. I explained to him why it offended me and let him know that I expected nothing from him because of it. The problem was with me and my response to the posting and so it was my issue to work. My life experience provided the fertile ground for this situation to bloom and so the healing needed to occur there as well. I made it clear to him that I wasn’t looking for an apology or for him to do anything other than be aware of the response his actions had triggered. What he chooses to do with that in the future is entirely up to him because now he knows the impact his actions had.

I didn’t know it at the time but this experience was getting me set up for a deeper awareness and a an opportunity to heal an old issue. I’ll share that in Part 2.

DISCRIMINATION IS NOT OKAY

In a country which struggles with its treatment of gay people, homophobic remarks like this one get dismissed by society because it has always been okay to make gay jokes. The message that our government and religious organizations send is that it is okay to discriminate against gay people because they don’t deserve equal rights or equal treatment because of that one issue. When the culture holds a belief, it should come as no surprise that its members will act in alignment with that belief and not see a problem with their behavior.

On the one hand, it would be easy for me to say “Oh, he didn’t mean it THAT way” and just ignore it but then nothing will ever change. The truth however is that when you post (say, write, act, display) anything like the image above, not only do you get your particular message attached to it but you also have to own the deeper embedded energetics of that message. It doesn’t matter what joke you are trying to connect it to or why, you get it all and are responsible for it as if it were your own words. If that image had replaced “gay” with any racial designation, it would have caused an uproar but because it used “gay” it was seemingly okay.

THE STRUGGLE FOR EQUALITY

Every subsection of our culture has had its struggles for acceptance and equality. It is challenging when you are in a minority to get the majority to treat you fairly because they hold the weight and power of the majority. The role of government is supposed to be to protect the minorities and ensure their equal rights and fair treatment. Unfortunately the majority seems to think the government is there to protect their fears relating to the minority wanting a piece of their pie. We’ve seen this happen with women, African Americans and now it’s time for equality for gay people.

When we know better, we can do better. Discrimination and separation will never move us in the direction that we need to go as a nation or as a species. They only further divide and weaken us. To survive and flourish we have to learn to think and act as one. “One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice FOR ALL.”

WE ALL DESERVE LOVE AND RESPECT

We all deserve to feel safe, respected and heard. This is especially true when we are with our friends. At the same time each of us owes it to the world to be our own unique, authentic expression of the Divine. As we experience that which is different from ourselves, we learn and grow and see the value of the diversity of nature. Yet despite our differences, ultimately we are one planetary species and we have to learn to find ways to value those differences. When we can drop our judgments of others which drive us further apart, we can see that ultimately we have more in common than we think because we’re all human and we’re all in this together. We can choose to be a piece of the whole or we can choose to live in fear, separation and ultimately isolation.

Remember, energetically you get back what you send out. Will you choose to radiate love and acceptance or project your fears out into the world?

Expanded consciousness exercise

The most common theme among all world religions and spiritual teachings is the core belief in Oneness or Unity Consciousness. Every religion brings this teaching out in various ways but the belief is there beneath the dogma of the particular religion. This awareness of Oneness is what I’ve been using as the framework for the information that I’ve been sharing with you in this blog. It is also something that I’ve been working to manifest in my own personal life, not just as a concept but as a reality that I’m consciously choosing to orient my life around.

The biggest challenge that any of us face when we choose to focus on our Oneness with that which created us is overcoming our sense of separation. From the moment we leave the womb and the umbilical cord is cut, our lives begin to organize around a sense of separation. That one quick snip by a doctor which separates us from our mother is the moment where we first experience our individuality and uniqueness. In essence it is the very first lesson we receive and so it should come as no surprise that our world is built around the belief that we are all separate.

So how is it then that we can be disconnected and yet still ultimately all be connected? The answer to that question has everything to do with where our consciousness is and how aware we are of it. Since our consciousness is not physical and therefore not fixed in one place, it can move from place to place and level to level in an instant. To help understand this a bit more easily, it may help to also think of your consciousness as your awareness or point of focus.

INTERNAL AWARENESS OF AWARENESS

Let’s do a little exercise here to help you become a bit more familiar with shifting your consciousness around. The first step is to get familiar with how it feels when you move your consciousness around within you. Before engaging this process, it’s best to make sure that you have your “Basics” in place first. It’s always a good idea to have your Basics in place in every moment but until you can hold that as a constant state, reminders like this can be helpful. It’s also a good idea to turn off any external distracters like televisions or radios. The quieter your space is the easier this exercise will be. Spend some time with this first part and really get a feel for the movement of your awareness before you engage the second part. If you can focus inward enough, you will actually be able to feel your awareness move. The key in this first part is really observing how it feels when your awareness holds in one spot and moves.

1. Sit comfortably in a chair in an upright position. Ideally the chair should have arm rests. This exercise can also be done by lying on the floor and pointing your fingers toward the ceiling. 
2. Spread your legs comfortably wide and rest your elbows on the arms of the chair with your hands raised pointing up and index finger extended on each hand pointing out and away from your body so that you would have to turn your head from side to side to easily see each finger. 
3. Turn your head and shift your eyes to the index finger on your left hand and put your full focus on the tip of that one finger for at least 10 seconds.
4. Observe how it feels inside your finger when you hold this focus. Notice the sensations in the finger for a few moments and then notice how it feels in your head and body to hold your awareness on this one point.
5. Turn your head and shift your gaze to the index finger on your right hand and hold it there for at least 10 seconds noticing how it feels during the shift from the left finger and the moments after the shift and beyond.
6. Slowly shift back and forth a few times between these fingers to get familiar with the feel of your consciousness shifting between these two visible locations within your body. Really focus and observe what you feel in the finger as you move to it and away from it.
7. Hold your full awareness on the left hand index finger and let your awareness gather there for 10 seconds then just very lightly, without turning your head to look or putting too much focus there, observe how the index finger on your right hand feels when your awareness is still fully on the left. It’s very easy to split  your focus with the right hand while doing this so really fix your gaze and hold your attention firmly on the left hand. Just use the tiniest amount of awareness to notice how it feels in the right finger without your full awareness on it. Yes, it is tricky but possible and may require practice to get it.
8. Experiment with this a bit until you get a good feel for it and then while still gazing at the left hand, without turning your head to look, send your full awareness (minus the visual focus) to your right index finger. This one can also be a little tricky so play with it a bit until you can feel your focus settle in on the right hand while still gazing at the left hand. Notice how that feels in each finger.
9. Experiment with rocking your awareness slowly back and forth between the fingers while holding your gaze on only one of them. Repeat this until you can almost feel your consciousness shifting within your body. Once you have that felt sense of the shift within your body, you’re ready to continue.
10. While holding your gaze on the left index finger, shift your awareness to the right finger, then down to the right big toe. When you feel the shift down to your toe then go to the left big toe. (Picking a specific toe or finger like this helps to narrow the focus more fully and makes it easier to feel.) When you feel that shift then come back to the left finger where your visual focus is.
11. Slowly repeat that loop from finger to finger to toe to toe to finger several times until you can easily observe your consciousness shifting within your body.

EXPANDED AWARENESS

The first part of the exercise should give you a palpable feel for your focused awareness and the energy that it has. When you have that then you’re ready to proceed with shifting your awareness beyond your body. Take some time with this part and really notice how you feel after each step, not just at the beginning and then the end. Notice your thoughts (but don’t get caught in them), sensations in your body, shift in mood or emotions, whatever happens for you, just observe it and gather the data.

It might be easier to do the second part with a friend reading the instructions to you rather than trying to remember it all or read it step by step. You may also want to record yourself reading these notes (with long pauses between steps) and play that back when you’re ready to engage the exercise.

1. Close your eyes and repeat the finger-finger-toe-toe-finger loop a couple of times to notice how it feels when you shift it with no visual focus.
2. Once you have a feel for your consciousness shifting around to these points then play with moving it around to various points within your body allowing time at each point for your awareness to gather at that point before moving on. Think of the point first and then move your awareness to it. Joints and points are the easiest places to select because they are more specific spots (i.e. hip, knee, tip of the nose) than surface areas (chest, thigh, back).
3. When you have a feel for that internal movement from point to point then relax your arms down and let your hands rest and draw your legs in so that you can sit or lie comfortably for the next part.
4. With your eyes closed, bring your awareness to your nostrils and just observe the breath moving in and out for a few cycles. Feel the coolness of the inhale and warmth of the exhale. If you can’t immediately feel the difference in the temperature of the air, hold on this step until you can.
5. Now slowly allow your awareness to spread out to include your whole head, down your neck, through your chest and down the arms, down the torso into the pelvis, over the glutes and abdomen then down your legs. Don’t focus on any one spot during this process but rather feel like your awareness is growing from the tip of your nose to include your whole body but do it slowly piece by piece this way. Each place you expand to include is added to what you already have and is not the center of your focus. Remember to hold on to the awareness of the whole as it expands and not just focus on the next point or level.
6. When you have added all parts of your body, spend a few moments here observing how it feels to notice ALL of your body from the inside. Notice any tingling or pulsing which arises within your body and really gather the data on how this feels in your body. This is different from any thoughts you might be having on doing this exercise or mental distractions which may arise. Try to let those thoughts go for now and just notice the feeling of this expanded consciousness.
7. When you have gathered the data on “the self” now allow your thoughts to also include any other members in your immediate household one by one. This is human, animals and plants…any living beings within your home. Just lightly call in thoughts of each of them without losing your focus on you.
8. Now expand your thoughts to include only your immediate family one level out which is mom, dad, children, brothers and sisters. The family members referenced here can be living or dead. This exercise is about expanding your consciousness only and not about connecting with these individuals so just any visual or feeling you have for each one is all that is necessary to feel like you’re including them in your consciousness.
9. Now continue expanding to include the next family level…grandparents and grandchildren. Think for a brief moment about each one as you bring them into your consciousness. Don’t make this too heavy or sharp of a focus but more their name and maybe flash upon their face. It’s almost like what you would do if I said “tell me the names of each of these people” but this is all done internally.
10. Now begin including your entire extended family including in-laws and any distant relatives that come to mind. Don’t get caught up in trying to make sure that you get every single one but feel for what it’s like to bring them in one by one and still hold the awareness of the group you already have.
11. Now include friends…again one by one, just lightly allowing your consciousness to expand to hold them.
12. Next include immediate co-workers, associates, old friends, past relationships…anyone that you have physically met and related to in the past. Really get a feel for anyone that comes to mind during this process no matter what emotional history you have with them but again don’t focus on them or your history with them, just their name and a maybe an image of their face and then move on.
13. Notice any challenges that come with this process but don’t let that stop you. The more people you include in this exercise the more challenging it will become of course but that is part of the experience we’re seeking here. Once you have all your direct relations done, just lightly scan across them and notice how it feels within your body to hold your focus on you AND them. The important part is to not lose awareness of you in the process.
14. Now shift to thinking about places rather than people but still holding on to the thoughts of the people you’ve pulled in. Imagine that they are all right there with  you and think about the place where you live and begin slowly expanding from there to the whole building (if you live in apartments or condo’s), then on to your neighborhood, then city, state, region, country, continent, hemisphere and finally to the entire planet. Take your time and focus fully on an image of this expanded upward movement at each level and notice how challenging it becomes to still hold on to the awareness of yourself and all those you gathered at the individual level. It’s almost like you were using Google Earth and slowly zooming out to go up and away from the planet.
15. Feel like you are holding all of the people, animals and plants around the entire planet in your consciousness. Gather the data on how this feels to have your awareness be this so expanded as to include the entire planet. Really spend a few moments gathering the data for how this feels and how taxing it might be on you or how easy it feels.
16. When you really have this feeling noted, quickly let it all go and bring your focus back to your nose. Notice the feeling of your consciousness collapsing back to this single point.
17. Experiment with stepping your awareness back out to the planet level and then back to your nose a few times to really gather the data on how it feels to be connected to the whole and how challenging that can be and then how it feels to bring your consciousness back to a single point. Take more time with the expansion, hold when you’re there, notice the feelings/sensations/emotions and then do a quick collapse to the nose. This enables you easily compare between fully expanded and totally collapsed. Going from the nose to the Earth quickly doesn’t get you the same feeling nor have the same effect as stepping through the upward stages with more awareness.
18. When you feel done, release the thoughts of your relations and perhaps send a thank you with them for helping you and then get your Basics back in place as the energy of this can really overload your system.

EXPERIENCE VS. THOUGHTS

Once you actually engage the exercise above rather than just reading the words and thinking about it, you’ll have an idea of what expanded consciousness feels like. When you can begin to feel and know (not just think) that you are a part of something much bigger, your consciousness will expand to hold that. When you make your decisions from that expanded place, the decisions you make will change because of your expanded consciousness. Holding your conscious awareness at a level beyond the self initially takes a lot of effort, much more than just an awareness exercise requires, because that effort is where the work is. It is how we consciously evolve our consciousness. It is why I invest my time in creating this blog so that you can hopefully be inspired to do that work.

The important part is to work at the place where you are and grow from there. If your day-to-day minute-to-minute decisions are only based upon you and your immediate survival needs, trying to jump to planetary consciousness won’t work. When you can begin to offer and accept unconditional love towards just yourself and then expand that unconditional love to just one other being and then continue that expansion outward, things will begin to shift for you. If you find yourself saying “how can I unconditionally love that person (criminal/molester/ex-lover/fanatic/etc)” then you know you’re not ready for that level yet. The important part is first learning to unconditionally love and accept yourself NO MATTER WHAT. Acceptance, forgiveness and love are choices and they are yours to freely make. Nothing concrete stands in your way, only your thoughts and beliefs.

YOU ARE NEVER ALONE…EVER!

Remember there will be times when you feel that you are totally alone or like it’s you against the world but that’s never true. You are always connected to the whole of humanity and thus the planet simply because you exist. Any belief to the contrary is just a false sense of separation that has been handed down to you either consciously or unconsciously by those who came before. In every moment the choice is yours to feel disconnected and alone or connected and whole but either way you are always connected. The only difference is your thoughts and beliefs.

Will you choose to feel alone or will you choose to feel connected?