Thursday, December 2, 2010

A holiday mirror

The world is a mirror which reflects back to us what we look into it with. This is true for all of us but when you are doing energy and healing work, it becomes especially true. I used to work for a Chiropractor who specialized in energy medicine. One thing he taught me was that whatever issues that his clients presented, there was always a reflection of that going on in his body or in his life. As I’ve grown into my own practice, I’ve found this to be very true for me as well. I’ve written about how powerful this has been for me before.

Last week a client wrote to me asking for an appointment and in his email he expressed how stressed out he has been over a DUI that he got in June. It was his second one in some number of years and so he faces potential jail time. He mentioned how sad this was making him. He was feeling depressed and lonely and so he wanted to schedule a session with me. Throughout his email he proceeded to blame everything that was going on for him on getting a DUI.

After a few emails back and forth discussing the issues, one of the things that became clear to me was that he was stuck in victim mode. I pointed out to him that the night of his DUI was over and done. Yes, his impending court date was a direct result of that evening but so was the night he took his first drink. So was the day he first got the prescription medication which negatively interacted with the alcohol. So was the first day the he learned to drive a car. Every day was somehow related when you examine it so why choose such a negative event to focus on? I understand why and do it myself but when you look at it consciously that way, it helps to break you out of victim mode.

This awareness seemed to really help him move through the block he was holding on to but it also really stood out for me emotionally. I found myself continually thinking about the email exchange and so I knew there was something there for me too and that I just needed to watch for it. Not surprisingly it didn’t take long for it to show up.


This past Saturday, my partner and I began decorating our home for the holidays. This time of year can be very emotional for a lot of us because of all the stress that the holiday season can bring. As much as I hated the fact that I disliked this season so much, the truth is historically it has been one of the worst times of year for me because of early childhood wounds. Those wounds led me to be miserable as a young adult and unhappy even to this very year. All of that has contributed to me having yet another unhappy holiday season every year. It was one of my “life stories” that I told myself and others. Sad but true.

That night as we sat in our living room admiring our decorations, my partner was looking at our tree and smiling. He said “this is the first real tree that I’ve ever had for Christmas.” My heart broke open. Here is a 43 year old who is one of the kindest souls I know and someone whom I love dearly and he was experiencing newness in this moment. His joy was evident and there I sat stewing in my old Christmas juices. And then it hit me. I’m being a victim of my past. Just because past Christmas seasons had bad things happen, it didn’t mean this one had to be bad too. The only thing that was negative about this season was ME.

Tears flowed down my face at both the joy of co-creating a magical experience for my beloved but also how much lighter my heart felt by me choosing to let go of the past pain and move into present joy. I know that my thoughts shape my beliefs and my beliefs shape my life, so if I change my thoughts I change my life. In choosing to believe that this season is about THIS season and the joy that fills my life THIS year, I chose to step out of victim mode and into joy of the present moment. It really feels good and just made things a little brighter for me.

In looking at your life, what old stories are you still re-playing that keep you from being joyous in the present moment?