Tuesday, April 28, 2009


This past Wednesday was such a powerful day for me. If there is one thing I’ve learned by from doing healing work it is that my clients are mirrors for me. The issues that they come to work on will always have a component to them that I need to work on in myself. Sometimes it’s subtle. Sometimes it hits me in the face like a ton of bricks. The key is always in knowing to look for it rather than assuming that I’m only working on their stuff.

When I awoke that day I felt a little “off” somehow but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It was more of an emotional feel than physical. I had three sessions on the books so it wasn’t a day that I could just cancel. My first one was a session where I got to work with one of my female partners, Joanne. I always enjoy working with her because she is so much fun and a real joy to be around. The second one was with a client I’ve worked with several times and am very comfortable with and who is in the process of accepting his desire for men after many years of marriage. He’s in his 50’s. My final client was one that I knew was going to be powerful.

Before I work on guys, I send them a list of questions to respond to so that I can begin to mentally prepare for working with them. His response was beautifully written but I could tell from it that he was a guy who was very “in his head”. By that I mean he constantly analyses every experience and approaches life from a very intellectual place. This is very common for men. This is by contrast to those who approach life from a more emotional place. This is very common for women. I could tell that he was very nervous about coming to me and also that he was living a very stressful life where he had to always be in charge at home with his partner and daughter.

After I finished my second client, I began feeling really unusual. I was overwhelmed with emotions that I couldn’t quite place or understand. It was so intense that I asked a friend who does energy-work to send me some energy to help me climb out of the funk I had slipped in to. I sat for almost an hour just staring out the window trying to let the emotions rise to the surface so that I could understand them. I finally realized that it wasn’t my emotions I was dealing with, it was my next clients. For many who read this, they may find that to be a very unusual thing to say, but it’s very common for me at this point.

We all have psychic abilities. All of us. Most of us deny them so strongly that we don’t notice the small ways in which they communicate with us and guide us. I used to be that way but since I left my data processing career and began focusing on my spirituality that has shifted for me. We all have shades of all psychic abilities but some are more prominent than the others, at least initially. Clairvoyants receive psychic images or visions. Clairaudients hear words or thoughts. Clairaliences received smells. Clairgustances get tastes. Claircognizances sense an inner knowing. Clairsentients receive feelings and emotions. I am primarily a clairsentient. This has been a struggle for me since most of my childhood I was very disconnected from my emotions because my own were too painful and now I know that I was also picking up others emotions as well. Unfortunately I didn’t have anyone around me as a child to help me understand what was happening.

In becoming an energy worker, I have been given the opportunity to more fully embrace, utilize and even rely on these psychic abilities. When I focus on the clients that I’ll be working on for the day, my spirit connects with them and I begin getting clairvoyant flashes of things to do with them or visions of how to work with them. Typically when they show up and I begin working with them, I can feel areas in my body that are areas in their body that I need to work on. I also begin to feel the emotions that they are feeling. By noticing these things I can work more effectively with them by helping them to balance these emotions by balancing them within myself. This is typically done by simply following the intuitive guidance I receive leading up their session and during the session.

About half an hour before my final client arrived, the mood began lifting, my head began clearing and I felt more like myself again. With new clients I always spend the first part of the session sitting and chatting with them. It helps me understand them and get a better feel for their needs and where they are mentally and emotionally in the present moment. The questions I ask them in person help me to more deeply connect with them and that guides me in further creating the experience for them or seeing how the flashes I’d already gotten connect together.

In chatting with the client, he told me that he had really been struggling with his emotions all day. He mentioned that he had really felt “off” but didn’t let that stop him from coming to the session. The way he described how he had been feeling was exactly how I had felt most of the morning. He however knew why he had been feeling that way. He was in a relationship where he was the primary bread winner because his partner had been out of work for the last two years. He was the one who paid the bills, ran the household, cooked the meals, cleaned the house, tended to the yard and was the primary care giver for their adopted daughter.

This was a relationship that he had been in for fourteen years and was with the man who was only his second sexual partner. His first sexual partner was also a guy who also had no sexual experience so he said it was like the blind leading the blind and that never really worked very well. Basically everything he had learned sexually, he had learned from his current partner…and that wasn’t working very well. By his own words they were “sexually incompatible”. Money was tight, life was hectic, stress levels were high and he was exhausted emotionally, mentally and physically.

Being the one financially responsible for his family was clearly wearing on him. He said he rarely did anything for himself. When he said “I do things like get the cheap hair-cut and buy inexpensive clothes so that I can support my partner and daughter” all the pieces began falling into place. He was in the same place I was in back in the late 90’s with my partner. He was about the same age I was then. I was very unhappy, in debt beyond belief, I hated my job, had a partner out of work spending like crazy and I was struggling to hold it together. I cut everything corner I could for myself so that I could continue to support my partner and our life…just like my client. I was in a low point in my life and I couldn’t figure out how to get out of it. He was a clear mirror of me 15 years ago.

In his responses to my questions, the client had said that he didn’t feel sexy and wasn’t sure how comfortable he would be being naked with me. He said he was very self-conscious of his body. He told me that coming to me was a huge stretch for him financially but that he had thought long and hard about this and had spent a great deal of time deciding on me. He stated that he just wanted to feel special, even if he were paying for it because he knew his “body wouldn’t know the difference”.

Typically once I’m ready to begin the bodywork, I have guys undress themselves and lay on the massage table while I undress myself. I asked him if I could undress him as part of making him feel special. He agreed. As I began to remove his shirt, he was visibly shaking and told me he was very nervous but wanted me to continue. He had an incredibly sexy, slim body and a very cute face. I couldn’t figure out how someone so adorable couldn’t feel sexy. But now I get it…just now while writing this…I felt horrible about myself at that time because of my financial mess and my troubled relationship. I was the lowest priority on my list. The last thing I felt was “sexy”.

The session was very powerful and I believe both of us got something from it. After the session, I was able to chat with Joanne about my day and the experience. It was at that point that she recognized something I had missed. Both of my first two clients names were Jim. The guy I was with in the relationship that the client mirrored for me was named Jim. He was also learning to deal with his gayness after several years of marriage.

Clearly when I look at how much the day reflects onto me, I can see where my spirit was trying to get my attention. When we have too many “coincidents” our spirit, or soul, is trying to get us to notice something. Typically it is something within us that seeks healing. After spending some more time this weekend examining the experience, I realized that there are issues that I need to resolve and heal with my ex…still! It’s issues that I’ve tried to just ignore in the hopes that he would just go away (even after being broken up for over thirteen years) and that I wouldn’t have to deal with. This experience brought these issues to light for me and so now I can deal with them. If I had just shrugged my shoulders and thought “wow, that was an odd day” or thought that it was all just about my client, I would have missed the healing that is possible for me.

By being aware that my spirit created an experience for me that brought about such an emotional upheaval, I knew to continue to reflect on the experience. I can now take care of a situation that I should have done long ago and that will be very healing. This is the type of healing that I tell my clients to watch for after a session with me. The internal work continues long after our time together is done. The work I do with my clients shifts their energy (and mine) and the results of that can become visible in the days following the session. All they need to do is hold their awareness on what changes for them or what part of the experience triggered any emotional charges for them. The healing doesn’t come from anything in particular that I do, but rather from the changes they make because of the experience.

Every experience in life is an opportunity for us to learn. Our spirits create every experience we have to help us learn to heal and grow. You don’t have to be “a healer” for that to be true. Every person, place and object can be a teacher simply by being part of our experience. Our “Awareness” is the key to discovering what needs to heal. I’ll be discussing that more in future messages.

What experience is your spirit creating for you today?


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