Monday, June 29, 2009

Just say "I love you"

With the recent deaths in Hollywood (Ed McMahon, Farrah Faucet and Michael Jackson) as well as the recent death of an Aunt of mine the thought of how quickly life can end has really been on my mind a lot. One of the biggest regrets I’ve heard so many people say when they find out that someone they love has died is “I didn’t get to tell them I love them one last time”. Perhaps you’ve even lost someone where you found yourself saying that. When someone is struggling with a health issue and the prospect of their death is close at hand, it’s easy to remember to tell them you love them because you know you might not see them again to do it. Yet none of us have a guarantee that we’ll see anyone else ever again because accidents happen and life is so precarious.

Why do we resist telling those in our lives that we love them? Love is a very powerful force. All too often out of fear of scaring others or having our words misconstrued or our intentions misunderstood, we resist saying “I love you” to those in our lives. I’m as guilty as anyone else of doing this but it’s certainly an area of my life that I try to constantly improve upon.

If you think about all the people in your life that you know you love right now, who all would that include? Of those how many of them have you told that you love them to their face? For many of us, these three tiny words have such an emotional charge that they scare us. It’s easy enough for us to say “I love you” to our spouses, partners and relatives but when it comes to friends we seem to resist because of what they might think.

Think about those in your life that you’ve yet to tell them that you love them and ask yourself why you resist telling them what you feel. Is it because you’re afraid they might not love you back, it’s too soon or that they might think that you are “in love” with them? We all have our reasons but for the most part these reasons are based upon our experiences with others and our own fear around loving. We’ve all been hurt by those we love and we’ve no doubt hurt those we care about but we can’t let past wounds dictate current behavior. Life is too uncertain for that.

My partner and I have a habit that we chose to create consciously. When either of us is leaving our home we make sure that the last thing we say to each other is “I love you”. It sends both of us out into the world on a positive note and ensures that we’ll never have regrets about not speaking our love no matter what happens. It’s also something that we say quite frequently when neither of us are leaving but we make sure we say it when we are parting because you just never know what might happen.

Today I invite you to examine what holds you back from sharing what is in your heart with those you love. It costs you nothing to say “I love you” and it makes us feel so good to be able hear those words from someone else. Challenge yourself to say it to someone that you love today that maybe you haven’t told or haven’t told enough. Take a moment to tell them that you appreciate them for being in your life and just tell them that you love them for being the amazing person that they are. Feel free to tell them that someone challenged you to do it if you have to but take the time to tell them. You won’t regret it and it just might make someone else’s day and it’s certain to change yours.

Thank you for continuing to read this blog. Thank you for seeing the worth in these messages. Thank you for being a part of my life and allowing me to be a part of yours.

I love you. (Feel that inner smile?)

Oh and direct some of your love at YOURSELF. You deserve that the most! Loving yourself unconditionally will always take you farther than judging yourself.

1 comment:

  1. I appreciate you for being in my life for the past four years. I you love you for being the amazing person that you are. You have no idea what a profound effect you have had on my life since I first became your client. I love you!